well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
