so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My breasts were aching with rage.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
