There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize