wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize