i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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