Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
