she looked like the bat from fern gully.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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