So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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