Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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