I faked an abortion last night.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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