Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
