Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
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I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize