You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
