just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
