The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
