Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
