Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
True strength comes from lack of pants
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
