I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Two words: nipple clamps
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