maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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