Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
