Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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