i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
that is very illegal...i love you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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