I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
