You don't have asthma, your pregnant
youre lurking in front of me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
