If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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