it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
