not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
