I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
