wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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