Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
