Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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