Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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