high people should be assigned attendants
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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