You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
