I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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