For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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