history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
