Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
