Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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