please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
