Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
