i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
