He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
