Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
