you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
