i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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