I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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