Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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