elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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