New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
