my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
