sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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