Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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