i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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