Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
