maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
