3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
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