Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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