So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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