So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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