Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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