Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
