Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
