they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
